In a setback for vegans and vegetarians, a team of French neuroscientists has discovered that a head of broccoli functions much like the human brain, allowing this common green vegetable to think and feel in ways similar to people.Read More
In a hastily organized press conference that aired Monday evening on all cable channels except ESPN, NASA scientists confirmed they had discovered intelligent life on a planet 950 light-years from earth.Read More
Sick and tired of war and violence and stupid aggression in its many destructive forms, ladybugs on Wednesday eliminated their male counterparts and established the first modern society consisting only of women.Read More
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move that astounded food conglomerates around the world, the United States Food and Drug Administration has banned the unnecessary combination of salt and sugar in processed foods. Their findings, released today, suggest that the chemical reaction is addictive and hazardous to human health.
Reports of sugar cubes weeping in the arms of salt shakers have been coming in from around the country. It's unclear how Pepper feels about the matter.
Dear Dr. Parsnippety: I’m a happy, middle-aged, 95-foot oak tree with a busy social and professional life. Friends and colleagues admire my well-developed root system, praise my sturdy trunk and beautiful branches, and often ogle my fluttering leaves and healthy, robust acorns. The ogling would bother some drop-dead gorgeous oaks, but I don’t mind it.Read More