In Puzzling Move, God Chooses Ohio Woman with Criminal History to Replace Him as Supreme Being

God’s recent announcement that he would step down in October as the all-knowing, all-powerful Lord of the cosmos prompted intense and around-the-clock speculation about who would replace him. Would the Supreme Being choose a senior angel from within his inner circle, as many analysts and God-watchers believed; or would he opt for any of three or four minor gods who seem poised for a larger role in the cosmos, as Las Vegas oddsmakers predicted? 

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Coalition of Gods Set to Remove Trump from White House and Chain Him to Mountainside in Himalayas

In a clear sign of impatience with human folly and ignorance, nearly 200 major and minor gods on Thursday announced plans to evict President Donald Trump from the White House and banish him from the United States. The gods — including Zeus, Thor, Shiva, Yahweh, Krishna, and Marduk — noted that Vice President Mike Pence would accompany Mr. Trump into permanent exile, with both men allowed to wear only untreated animal skins for clothing.

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