Salt and Sugar Ripped Apart by FDA

WASHINGTON, DC - In a move that astounded food conglomerates around the world, the United States Food and Drug Administration has banned the unnecessary combination of salt and sugar in processed foods. Their findings, released today, suggest that the chemical reaction is addictive and hazardous to human health.

Reports of sugar cubes weeping in the arms of salt shakers have been coming in from around the country. It's unclear how Pepper feels about the matter.