Hackers Release Names of 26,000 Americans Facing God’s Imminent Judgment

The angel Gabriel announced Wednesday that cybercriminals had hacked into a divine database and released the names of 26,000 Americans guilty of thus far having lived an entirely selfish and unworthy life. The premature exposure of these corrupt people, though illegal, will not affect God’s intention to judge and punish them immediately following their deaths, said Gabriel.

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