Animal Kingdom Launches Worldwide Counteroffensive Against Humans; Battles Rage on 3 Continents as Both Sides Report Heavy Casualties; Last-Ditch Fight for Habitat

WASHINGTON — In coordinated attacks on 34 sites in seven nations across the globe, the Animal Kingdom on Thursday launched a worldwide war to reclaim land and water necessary for the survival of all species. The nighttime raids began with waves of F-18 Bluefin-Tuna bombers and A-12 Screaming Monarch-Butterfly cruise missiles, striking coastal and inland targets in Europe, America, and Australia.

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Trump Seeks ‘Middle Ground between True and False Information’

Saying that true statements are not always right and that false statements are not always wrong, President Trump on Thursday laid out his vision of an America where “knowledge and ignorance are both accepted and respected for what they are — big words.” He twice noted that knowledge and ignorance should be treated as equals “because each of those words has exactly nine letters in it, or they did when I counted them this morning.” 

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