Birdhouse Teardowns and Rebuilds Rankle Neighbors, Community Leaders

By Bradley Hut

A continued high-rate of foreclosures has led to a surge in listings of nests and birdhouses across the nation, with affluent hawks and vultures snatching up the properties as they become available and converting them into McNests and Mcbirdhouses. The transformation of small, humble homes into ostentatious, gawky palaces has angered many neighbors and community leaders.

“Look over there,” said activist Richard Redbreast, pointing to a newly built seven-story birdhouse hanging from a branch in the trendy Linden Hills neighborhood of Minneapolis. “Six weeks ago that was a fairy-tale cottage with an elderly hummingbird living in it, but she could no longer afford the property taxes. So two techno-riche hawks fly in and buy the thing, tear it down in ten minutes and build a…well, there it is. In all my life I never thought I’d see a custom-built, single-family tower in a maple tree, painted Tuscan gold.”

Cindy Flapper, a realtor with the Avian Group in Edina, said successful raptors understandably want to own a birdhouse that reflects their financial status and many accomplishments. “Size is the best way for them to say to others, ‘Look, you see, I had the good character to sell my stock options at the right time, and if you don’t believe me let’s just compare square footage.’”