Top Ten Foods at the State Fair

It's State Fair time around the country, and that means Americans over the next two weeks will gorge themselves on super-sized portions of nutrient-free non-food, questionable substances drenched in the malignant trio of Salt, Sugar, and Fat. The following are among the most popular treats.

  • Pork Snow Cone
  • Fudge-Dipped Fudge
  • Shrimp-Flavored Bison Kettle Korn
  • Deep-Fried Fruit-Flavored Fruit-Shaped Froot
  • Smoked Turkey Leg Gelato in Deep-Fried Cheese Crepe Product
  • Beer-Battered Snickers Bar Breakfast Kabob in a Marshmallow Pita Pocket 
  • Deep-Fried Chocolate Chicken in a Fudge-Dipped Waffle Cone, Plunged in Diet Gravy and Salted with Sugar
  • Bacon-Wrapped Butterfinger Ice Cream On-A-Stick Wrapped in an Oily and Inconceivably Sweet Funnel Cake
  • Salted Caramel Cotton Candy Quesadilla Curds, Preserved and Shrink-Wrapped for Interminable Shelf Life in any Conditions
  • High-Fructose Cookie-Cake On-A-Stick Dipped in High-High-High-Fructose Artificially-Flavored Banana Syrup and Salted with Extreme Salt
  • Factory-Seasoned Pronto Pup with Choice of 17 Dipping Sauces Made in Huge Vats at an Industrial Park in New Jersey or at an Unregistered Facility in Rural Thailand