News Brief: Texas Education Board Outlaws Evolution

Taking a stand against science as well as nature in general, the Texas Board of Education on Thursday outlawed evolution, the process by which living organisms develop and diversify from earlier forms over successive generations. By a vote of 9 to 6, the board voted “to stop evolution from occurring, if indeed it does occur.”

In a statement outside the cave where the board meets, Board Chair Walter Baggy said the important issue “is not whether evolution is true or false, but whether it’s good or bad. So the point is, if it happens—if we find that evolution really does take place—we have to find a way to stop it, because…well, it’s not right. Nature is just wrong. Consequently, any species that’s caught evolving in Texas will be eliminated.”