By Thomas O’Malley
In a new poll that may prompt many human beings to reflect on their values and indeed to reconsider their entire way of being, a vast majority of domestic cats say the ultimate meaning of life is found in napping, and that life’s essential purpose is to nap long and well every day.
Eight in 10 cats said that napping, rather than any type of action — good or bad, selfish or altruistic — was the reason for their existence as well as the fulfillment of God’s plan for them on Earth, according to a Bobtail Times/British Shorthair News poll.
In an unexpected finding, all 1,763 cats polled said that the question — What is the meaning of life? — was neither profound nor challenging.
“It’s like asking what my eyes are for,” said a gray and white Ragamuffin from rural Ohio. “My eyes are for seeing. What are ears for? Ears are for hearing. What is life for? Life is for napping, snoozing during the day. Next question.”
Sixty-Four percent of cats said the time they spend awake has no value whatsoever, while 29 percent said that such time has little value. The remaining 7 percent said they were unaware of ever being awake.
The poll was based on telephone surveys nationwide, from May 17 to June 1, with cats either awake or sleeping.