New Street Signs to Warn of Deeply Unpleasant, Emotionally Underdeveloped People

Motorists are familiar with the yellow, diamond-shaped signs warning them to proceed with caution on residential streets because of a DEAF CHILD in the area or because there are CHILDREN AT PLAY nearby.

As of January 1, new street signs will alert motorists of additional reasons to proceed with caution, following the Department of Transportation’s approval Friday of signage warning of highly unpleasant, emotionally stunted people. The new road signs include:

  • COMPULSIVE LIAR AHEAD
  • PROFOUNDLY IMMATURE MAN AREA
  • INTOLERABLE NARCISSIST ON LEFT
  • TRUMP-TYPE GROPER IN SECOND-TO-LAST HOUSE ON RIGHT
  • MOODY AND IRRITABLE TIME BOMB OF A MAN IN ALLEY
  • INCONCEIVABLY INFANTILE WOMAN IN CUL-DE-SAC AHEAD
  • GROWN MAN WHO CONTINUES TO BLAME OTHERS FOR HIS PROBLEMS AND FAILURES ON RIGHT
  • SUPPORTERS OF SEXUALLY CREEPY PRESIDENTIAL ASPIRANT AHEAD AND BEHIND AND ALL AROUND
  • PUNY, PETTY & PATHETIC MAN WHO THINKS SYSTEM IS FAIR IF HE WINS BUT RIGGED IF HE LOSES AREA
  • MAN WHOSE OFF-PUTTING ARROGANCE FAILS TO MASK HIS UNDERLYING INSECURITY AHEAD
  • ANTISOCIAL WEAPONS COLLECTOR AND 9/11 CONSPIRACY THEORIST BROODING IN BASEMENT ON RIGHT
  • ABLE-BODIED MIDDLE-AGED MAN NOT LOOKING FOR WORK AND LIVING OFF HIS ELDERLY MOTHER’S DWINDLING SAVINGS AND SOCIAL SECURITY AHEAD