In Electing Trump, Americans Betting that Ignorance and Vulgarity Will Bring Positive Change

Interviews with Americans across the United States reveal that many who voted for President-elect Donald J. Trump did so because they came to believe, over the course of the campaign, that facts, knowledge, language proficiency, maturity and decency were obstacles to the change they wished to see in the nation.

“There was just something so exciting and fresh about Trump’s obvious ignorance and breathtaking vulgarity,” said Martin Filbertson, 46, an insurance adjuster from Canton, Ohio. “I mean, we hear so much about education and sophistication, experience and preparation, competence and—blah blah blah. It’s all so boring. We need change, we need something new and different—and that’s why I voted for a rich barbarian in a baseball cap, a weird kind of Fifth-Avenue cave dweller with an expensive axe and spear. I think he’ll do good things for the country.”

Mary Nettles, 43, owner of a hair salon in Battle Creek, Mich., was drawn to Trump’s utter lack of any qualification to be president. 

“The moment he (Trump) opens his mouth,” said Nettles while trimming a client’s pink-tinted bangs, “you can tell he’s completely unfit to be the mayor of even an abandoned mining camp in Colorado, much less the president of a great nation. But heck, why not give him a try anyway. Aren’t qualifications overrated? And all this talk about fitness for office, what does it mean really? Fit, unfit, fit, unfit—I don’t know, what’s the difference? Just an ‘un’ before the word ‘fit’.”

Steve Linsley, 59, a roofing contractor from Farragut, Tenn., was not so much for Trump as he was against Clinton.

“With Clinton, and with Obama too,” said Linsley while holding a coffee mug the size of a small barrel, “you always get the feeling they know what they’re talking about, because they’ve read so much and listened so carefully to a lot of really knowledgeable people. And, you know, that gets kind of tiring after a while. I honestly believe we’re ready for a president who doesn’t think so much—a guy like Trump who doesn’t have a lot of thoughts to think about and couldn’t express them even if he did, because he doesn’t know enough words. That’s another good thing about him—he doesn’t come with the baggage of a vocabulary.” 

Many voters praised Trump’s opposition to political correctness.

“I love the fact that he can make creepy comments about women and menstruation,
 and that he can mock a crippled person and get away with it,” said Bruce Larson, 58, an optometrist from Cottondale, Fla. “I mean, who can do that? No really, ask yourself: Who today would even think of mocking a crippled person? Only idiotic fifth-grade boys—and oh yeah, our new president.”