With Botched Health Bill, Trump Fails in First Attempt to Kill Off the Working Class

In a rare display of humility and self-reflection, President Trump acknowledged Thursday that the collapse of the GOP health care plan represented a major setback in his effort to eliminate the working-class voters who helped elect him to the nation’s highest office in November.

Sitting at his empty desk in the Oval Office for an interview with Fox News teenage interns, Mr. Trump insisted that the Republican health plan would have benefitted “the very best and the very richest people” in the United States.

“I keep hearing on the news shows that the health bill went down because it would have hurt the poor and the elderly and the working class,” Mr. Trump said. “Well, actually, the idea was not just to hurt them but to get rid of them somehow. These are very pathetic people; they don’t have any money. And so this legislation, by taking away their insurance or raising their premiums, was supposed to make life even harder for them and maybe push them over the edge.”

A sixteen-year-old intern raised her hand and said: “A lot of these people voted for you, especially the workers, because you kept saying during the campaign you were going to help them. Aren’t you betraying them now?”

“Little girl, please,” Mr. Trump responded. “By the way, you have very lovely, gorgeous hair. You know that, don’t you?”

“To my point, Mr. President, aren’t you betraying the very workers who were so crucial in getting you elected?”

“You nasty girl,” said Mr. Trump. “You’re being very bad, very naughty. First of all, most of these so-called workers are not even working; they’re unemployed losers and don’t have any chance of finding a decent job—especially since my budget, if Congress goes along with it, ain’t gonna give a dime for job-training or education.”

“Not even a dime for—” The girl was squinting in disbelief. 

“Nothing, nada, nacho,” Mr. Trump cut in. “My budget, just like the Republican health bill, is for the winners and the players, the guys in finance and banking, the guys with big real estate holdings, like me and my buddy Jared. The workers? They’re just a distraction from my plan to make me and a few others richer and greater and…I mean America great again.”