The Unanimous Declaration of the Plant and Animal Kingdoms

When in the course of earthly events, it becomes necessary for two kingdoms to dissolve the traditional bands which have connected them to a third, and to assume among the powers of the biosphere the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of all living creatures requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all plants and animals are rare and mysterious, that their place in the world should not be doubted or ignored by smug and loutish newcomers, that although English is not their first language, they nonetheless are deserving of certain unalienable rights.—That among these are life, habitat and the pursuit of prey.—That in addition to these are good soil, clean air, pure water, and a fair portion of the freedom and integrity living things had when nature alone was their steward.—And that, if one is a commodity (to be potted, canned, frozen, or otherwise bound and packaged by people, eventually to be displayed and purchased, pruned or prepared, cut, chopped, trimmed, hung, fried, grilled, baked or boiled), well, then, one is not only a commodity, but also an astonishing fruit or creature of nature and ultimately of God, however imagined or understood; and so to be respected and treated accordingly.